Pineapple rings

So I guess that’s enough on our dark overlord tobacco. We have put a saddle on that beaten to death horse and rode it out of town.  I traded tobacco for another vice. Food.  I have been known to block the doorway and/or sidewalk of many fine establishments with a Twinkie, a triple cheeseburger, a deep fried pickle and a barrel of diet soda. And don’t forget the fries. And cheese on the fries. And ranch dressing to dip the cheese fries in. Not to mention my big ass blocking entry into these fine establishments. I know the risk involved with not observing a “proper diet”. The waistline, sweat, and gastro-intestinal noises increase, the inability to get out of bed, the inability (or desire) to do things while in bed, social opportunities, as well as the will to live decreases.  You wake up one morning and suddenly all the clothing in your closets have been replaced with stretchy sweat pants (as if you don’t sweat enough) and with t-shirts three sizes too small that make your man boobs protrude from the shirt sleeves like two big hams. The only ring piercing my nipples would be a pineapple ring.